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The magnificent Mother

To cut a long story short, my mother nearly died, again.

She has a long and frankly astonishing history of cheating death. 15 years ago she had a massive stroke which left her permanently disabled but left her personality intact.

We have had quite a rough ride together and the boundaries of what it means to be a mother and son and she has taught me so much about being a human being. From age ten to eighteen I was one of her primary carers and even once I left home I was involved in looking after her.

In Febuary she had another stroke and spent the next six months in hospital before transferring to Pondsmead.

It appeared she had another stroke on Sunday night whilst at the nursing home she now lives in. We were all called and came to say goodbye. She was unconcious, her food and meds were stopped and we were told she would be gone most probably within twenty four hours.

Over the course of the week we noticed she was responding slightly to auditory stimulous. I  had sort of decided to play Abba and Queen to her because they were her favourites. Ooops past tense, bad habit. They are her favourites.

All four of us, My two elder brothers and elder sister were together with my father while a vicar came to do some prayers. I must confess I stood to one side respectfully as I find christian worship somewhat redundant philosophically to me but have complete respect for the rest of my family’s beliefs.

My siblings stayed overnight on Sunday and Monday. It all seemed rather hopeless.

Without meaning to sound callous, I found myself able to find solace in the peace my mother appeared to have. She was sleeping and in no pain. I had no wish for her existance to end but compared to all the pain and trauma she has endured over the years, this was nothing.

I stayed over night on Tuesday,  Mum began choking on her own secretions and I must confess I was very alarmed. I called for help and the frankly wonderful nurses did lots of oral care and suction to clear her airways. I was willing to accept an end but not like that, she deserved better.

Over the course of the night I tried to sleep in her reclining chair in her room but could not. I realised I was counting the seconds between each of her breaths. The figure rose and fell, erratic and shallow, deep and warbly. We thought she was going to leave us and at those moments it was all too easy to believe.

Earlier in the day my sister and father managed to convince the doctor to restart my mothers fluids and give her 15ml of water an hour via her ng tube. Thats a tube in the throat to allow a nil by mouth patient to be fed and given medications.

Everytime she came round, like a cough or a splutter shook her back into conciousness, I tried to talk to her. Sometimes she focussed, sometimes not.

I remembered she was supposed  to be being fed water and that had not been happening through the night.

As the morning came, she seemed to be more aware, awake, responding to a squeezed hand. The words were like a radio tuning in and out. She kept saying the word ‘thirsty’ and I asked them if they had been doing the fluids. I had fallen asleep a few times and not kept tabs. Another lovely nurse started the water again.

My mother, unstoppable, stubborn, never wrong. Awake 🙂

I went home about 8am to get some rest, needed to feed Phil as well and have a bath. I left a note for the doctor. Explaining what had been happening.

I couldn’t sleep so popped over to Bristol to see my friend Maya and get some headspace. There was no guarantee she was out of the woods. Did some online research and it was clear that some people have a final resurgence before it is time for them to leave and I thought that may be the case here.

A phone call at lunchtime told me that Mum was chatting and popping in later on she was helping my father do the crossword.

She is frankly, awe inspiring. Her brain and body were dying and she didn’t. Not sure I believe in souls although I do believe in the complete indivisuality and uniqueness of a human person’s electrical brain patterns so perhaps thats my version.

I hope the lazarus ability is coded into my D.N.A but even if it isn’t I am glad my mother posesses it.

I spent Thursday catching up with my sleep and doing some sorting out. My collegue Alex came and took me out for lunch to check up on me which was lovely.

Away we go folks, 🙂

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Studio Transformations (Part Two)

This is kind of a cheats transformation. I needed to make my studio functional, even though it has not been properly tidied.

So, I cleared the desk….

Onto the floor….

And with Phil’s help I started laying my glass work tiles on the desk. This protects the desk and makes it easier to keep everything clean, plus it reflects light.

And completed with my two pasta machines. One is purely for light clays and the other is probably going to become my scrap clay machine, because I have another machine on order.

‘But Harry, you haven’t really tidied the studio! You have just made a usable working area!’

Well, yes Phil is right, I have only really placated the problem rather than solving it.

I am very pleased to have a work area and I feel it will spur me on to create. To sort out the catalogue, to make lovely things and blog about them constantly.

It also made me feel very happy, so I think thats all that counts. Hurray for artistic selfishness. It is my space and only has to satisfy my demands.

On a consolidatory note, I did do battle with the kitchen and win…..

I mean seriously, is that not a thing of beauty?

I have a couple of tutorial/experiments in progress and will blog all about them soon folks.

Much Purky loving

H
xx

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Studio Transformations (Part One)

Ahoy there, felt it best to crack right on with introducing folks to the new Purky Studio.

I am using my ancient 3.2 Megapixel camera which feels a tad like a stone age relic, so my photographs are not super crisp, but you will get the idea 🙂

As you walk in the door there are two desks, currently I am working through my drawers and boxes of findings and equipment. That drawer unit will be going under the desk on the right.

Those boxes underneath are in the process of being investigated, there is some really random stuff in there.

To the right is desk two, that will have both of my pasta machines set up on it. I am also going to glue a glass tile to the desk to use as a work surface. Completely fed up of my revolution beads going wonky because the glass slips away!

The view out the window is not hugely stimulating so tempted to stick a poster of the tropics on that wall outside.

The CD tower has been repurposed to be a storage unit for takeaway boxes filled with scrap clays.

A close up on some of my tools….these have been collected over the last 6 years. There is another box of them somewhere!

Continuing around to the right, in the corner I have my convection oven and kiln. At the moment, TeeTwo the fish is in here, just to keep him cat proofed but he will be moving somewhere more auspicious soon.

Turning right again, to the other corner. Just a pile of crafty stuff atm, some stock, some oil pastels etc. Need to deal with this asap.

And in the final corner, a towering behemoth of modern modular furniture. Tis an Ikea Expedit bookcase which will be carefully organised and full of crafty goodness.

At the moment it is more of a dumping ground but aiming to have cubby holes for specific items. Need sterling silver findings, they are in ……… That kind of thing.

And a final picture to give you an idea of the state of these boxes.

I am not a particuarly concientious mover and do not treat myself or my belongings well.

Especially in the circumstances, I just wanted to throw it in boxes and get it the hell out of there. I felt like my stuff and myself were just in the way of my former DB’s happiness.

However, I hope you can see the mess my studio is but also the future potential for it to be magnificent. I have remade contact with wholesalers and suppliers. Also made some enquiries about foil printed packaging and some other bits and pieces.

Also delving back into the business plan and ammending it.

Wish me luck folks and catch you soon xx

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Well, haven’t I been a tad rubbish?

Hello gorgeous folks, my apologies for disapearing up my own bottom in a miasma of sadness and pretense that I shouldn’t be bothering any more.

Tied up in my own feelings concerning moving, breaking up, managing things as a single entitity and such. Work also consumed a lot of my spare time and sorting out my own space has been difficult.

However, this must now be turned around.

I will be posting a mini series about my new home over the next few weeks, while I sort out the new studio, which in a way feels like when the Tardis control room regenerates. There is a brand new business plan being written for Purky Products. The Purky himself is being sorted out, there may need to be large sticks involved and of course Phileous Mogg (the company feline) will be in attendance.

Many thanks to my blog followers and blurkers.

As a random aside, look at these pictures I found on a random CD.

Tis me on a micro stall at a victorian fete in Shepton Mallet last year.
And look at all the folks around me, I forgot about the good bits, like this 🙂
Catch you soon everyone xx