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Dirty feet

So, I love to be outside. I love Alfred’s tower and I love to walk barefoot in the rain.

It was raining rather profusely a few days ago but dried off in the evening. I decided to take a walk to defragment my brain drives. I walked barefoot in the mud. Conifer needles and leafmould merged into the damp soil creating something quite firm underfoot. I enjoyed the way it squished slightly between my toes.

The grassy patches between the trees held my weight better. Happily I seem to be genetically advantaged for boggy walking. My feet are wide and there is a big gap between my big toe and first toe.

There is something very primal about barefeet. Shoes and boots protect our feet. Isolate them from cold, heat, wetness, sharps…

Do we really ‘feel’ the ground we walk on?

I have left footprints. They will wash away overnight but they are impressions of my feet. My toes, heels and soles. Not a mass produced bootprint but my footprint.

I was here. I am actually real, not a deranged figment of my own imagination. I am alive and I exist.

Or perhaps just in this corner of the multiversal conciousness….

I am going to try and visit the woods more often, the petrol is frankly a luxury but the exercise and peace of mind is not.

Captain Purky x

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One Year Ago

My heart was broken and I was rather scared. Losing the man I loved was terrible enough but I would have to find somewhere to live, gather my belongings, avoid conflicts..Could I afford it, was I clever enough to find somewhere?

The answer, one year on from the heart break, is Yes. I am struggling but I have a rather cool (if cluttered) apartment that I share with my beloved Phileous Mogg. (insert Meow here) I have rediscovered my inner artist

I was also, one year ago, working on Droma and writing daily. I want to return to that state of productivity. Currently I am working 12 hour days at my physically demanding job which is leaving very little space for my purkiness. However, writing can be done in tiniest snippets and those snippets can be woven together on the quiet days.

My three dimensional creativity and my writing are intrinsically linked. I love making real world artifacts from my stories, the dragon hatchlings being a case in point.

So what was the point of this post then? Really to reflect upon the positive things that have happened in the last year.

Moving into Purky Towers, Retrieving Phil, Trading successfully at the Chocolate Festival – Cads & Bounders – London Steampunk Market – Hogswatch – Discworld Spring Fling – Pop up Chocolate Garden, Discovering Gearpunk, rediscovering my love of Cyber, Meeting so many new amazing people.

It is Wednesday morning and I have already clocked in 33 hours at work this week. The grand plan is to work myself into the ground over summer to build up some financial momentum and use it to do something special.

I have so many exciting ideas and though my internal well is rather empty at the moment, a few days of resting will top me back up.

Best be off, time to go to work 🙂

Much love Purkites

Captain Purky xx

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The Glass Cannon

Glass cannons are a popular trope in television, games etc.  A thing of immense power that is also incredibly fragile….Allow me to introduce my artistic self esteem!

I can make absolutely beautiful and astonishing things but every tiny shred of pride can be cut down by the well placed criticism. I am not including constructive criticism or even the shit sandwich here. (Shit sandwich equals ‘Good thing as bottom slice of bread’ Something to improve/not so good thing for a filling ‘Good thing as top slice of bread’)

The criticism most probably will not come from an external source either, it stems from my eternal, internal uber critic. The voice that points out I still haven’t made ‘insert long procrastinated project’ or made contact with ‘insert business/gallery name’ Unfortunately for me and like many other people attempting to make their way as artistic professionals, I am constrained by budgetry concerns…Essentially meaning that I do not have an art budget at the moment. That push for a new level of profesionalism and perfection….well I need a powered rotary tool…awww too bad!

Quite often this inspires me to push against the boundary and use my skill to make some money. In the four months that I traded full time as Purky Products I made a fair amount of gross profit but once the expenses came out my Net was hugely underwhelming. I now realise, I undercharged for my work in an attempt to breach the more general market and that I should not have been trying to breach the general market!

I spent the two months after Christmas looking for work. The plan being that I would find some temp or part time work, reboost the coffers and get Purky rolling again with a new collection in Spring. Work took 8 weeks to find and so of course now I am working to pay back my overdraft that I ate into!

So is, he is having a moan and a bitch? Not really folks, I am laying out to myself and the world that actually this ‘Quit your dayjob’ shit is incredibly hard work and that you may have to take steps back on your way up the mountain.

Currently I am working in a warehouse, in a hyper masculine and non-creative environment and must say I am holding my own. The tedious menial work is giving my brain the space to breath. Of course thinking time equals a fair amount of self-beration time but it also means external stimulation and new ideas.

I geniunely believe in the glass cannon analagy and will be bringing new products to life soon.

So you know, I did do my garden and some designing on Saturday. I also enjoyed a lovely Sunday lunch with DB, Supervixeyasbo and her husband and took some time to chill out.

This Saturday, more gardening and designing is planned.

To everyone who reads, thankyou very much

I also wish to thank the artistic creative people around me who offer me their technical and emotional support. It is very much appreciated.