Mystified by the post title? Well I am being sent so many red letters at the moment, asking me politely to pay bills that I simply do not have the money for.
The deficit of winter combined with the upkeep of my car and some financially dissapointing trading events has left me…well. I am not quite sure how to rectify the situation. I feel like a bit of a failure on one level. My aim was to prove that I can live an artistically fulfilling and honest life whilst maintaining some sense of financial stability.
Realistically though, I know that things will get better. I also know that I am doing quite well on the whole, I am not equating my first world tribulations to a third world where children die every day from being hungry. I may lose some weight or have to sell some collectibles….not that big a deal really, hey?
I am approximately four hundred pounds short for paying bills this month, and I only got paid today. The bill estimation does not include expendables such as food or petrol. Happily Phil will be fed, the moglet need not worry about his tummy being empty. Captain Purky on the other hand shall be eating further reduced rations! (I am starting to quite enjoy tvp)
The very real possibility of spending a month being hungry is presenting itself.
Next weekend I am performing and trading so hopefully between the two of those enterprises I will have some of the dreaded paper stuff to deal with my creditors.
Make no mistake, I have no interest (geddit?) in not paying my way. To succeed in my own terms I simply have to make this work and every penny borrowed or owed must be repaid.
Once upon a time I would have decided I had to bury myself in work and deadly levels of overtime and that my chosen vocation was a fools errand.
At the moment, I believe that I have to work where I can, keep my dayjob ticking over, the bread and butter income. My rent will be paid from my wages, so I will be able to stay in my home. I also need to increase the revenue my company is taking and find a way to cut back my overheads further.
Also, I truly believe that the work I am producing is of the highest quality to have ever left my studio. If Purky is going to make it, then I cannot afford to back down now. I signed up for this.
Thankyou to everyone who supports me,
this ride is starting to get bumpy,
best be holding on