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Happy Birthday Mum x

Yesterday, it would have been my Mother’s 64th birthday. Beatles song lyrics aside it got me thinking.
At the moment I am averaging 75 hours a week at work between my two jobs (yeah I took on a second job…) and it is leaving me no space for anything else. 
Pragmaticism dictates that I should make hay while the sun shines but I am tired, stressed and irrepressibly angry. The anger is taking me very much by surprise and it’s a constant struggle every day to contain my rage.
It has been playing on my mind over the last week that my Mother who was such a beautiful, loving caring soul had a life filled with tragedies. My heart is pulled to pieces by this and the knowledge that there was no triumph at the end. 
I miss her most days anyway. At the moment it is much stronger and I wonder if that’s why my core is so hot, fiery and prickly right now.  However, in the search of future positivity I decided to make a list of what I actually want, for myself.
1)      To live creatively and express myself through my artworks, designs, writing and performances.
2)      Financial freedom.
3)      To find love again (Though I find the prospect of a lasting emotional relationship somewhat unlikely)
4)      To get married
5)      To raise children, in a loving stable home with my partner.
6)      Create a Purky Art Farm (A self sustaining small holding with studio and gallery spaces, offering  artists somewhere to work and teach)
7)      To build and sustain strong relationships and networks, offering something positive to all the people around me.
8)      To die at the right time, for the right reason.
And perhaps most importantly of all that all the things I think I ‘Want’ actually bring me happiness and fulfilment or points the way to my ‘Truth’.

Here is a ‘Truth’ that helps me. This is my Mother’s oak tree. Right now it is not much more than a sapling but it will outlive me and quite possibly my grandchildren. As it grows and flourishes, over three hundred different kinds of life will be supported under, over and inside its mighty boughs. 
I like to think that my two very talented, hardworking brothers, my amazing sister and myself, are acorns from the oak that was Lynn Joy Pursey.  We are growing and building our futures, raising families, loving and living.

Things will get better, you just keep going…

Captain Purky signing off x

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One Year Ago

My heart was broken and I was rather scared. Losing the man I loved was terrible enough but I would have to find somewhere to live, gather my belongings, avoid conflicts..Could I afford it, was I clever enough to find somewhere?

The answer, one year on from the heart break, is Yes. I am struggling but I have a rather cool (if cluttered) apartment that I share with my beloved Phileous Mogg. (insert Meow here) I have rediscovered my inner artist

I was also, one year ago, working on Droma and writing daily. I want to return to that state of productivity. Currently I am working 12 hour days at my physically demanding job which is leaving very little space for my purkiness. However, writing can be done in tiniest snippets and those snippets can be woven together on the quiet days.

My three dimensional creativity and my writing are intrinsically linked. I love making real world artifacts from my stories, the dragon hatchlings being a case in point.

So what was the point of this post then? Really to reflect upon the positive things that have happened in the last year.

Moving into Purky Towers, Retrieving Phil, Trading successfully at the Chocolate Festival – Cads & Bounders – London Steampunk Market – Hogswatch – Discworld Spring Fling – Pop up Chocolate Garden, Discovering Gearpunk, rediscovering my love of Cyber, Meeting so many new amazing people.

It is Wednesday morning and I have already clocked in 33 hours at work this week. The grand plan is to work myself into the ground over summer to build up some financial momentum and use it to do something special.

I have so many exciting ideas and though my internal well is rather empty at the moment, a few days of resting will top me back up.

Best be off, time to go to work 🙂

Much love Purkites

Captain Purky xx

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Where I am….

Hi,

time for one of those posts where I am not talking about my work. I am in quite a strange place in my life.

On one side, my Folksy shop (www.folksy.com/shops/purkyproducts) launched successfully last week and hit its sales targets. I have met some nice chaps, enjoyed the company of my friends.

On the other, I am not sleeping, do not have enough money to pay the rent, bills and buy food. Emotionally I am still recovering from the loss of my mother and my big breakup.

It is like I am looking over an abyss of drink, sex and other consumptions that wants me to jump back in. Despite the things that are positive in my life and my attempts to focus upon them. I am rather depressed.

However, Purky Products hit its sales target in the first week on Folksy – that is fabulous and I am very pleased. It bodes well for a Purky future.

I am surrounded by people who love me and care about me. For that I am so grateful and lucky.

Bills are just bills, they are always there, I can manage and will manage.

A very sage older friend of mine said (this is a paraphrase)

‘You are drawn to the darkness because you know how to handle it, how it feels to be surrounded by that negativity. The light scares you because you are not used to it and do not know how to handle your impending success’

What a dude, huh? Love him to bits.

I need to ensure my impending success by building confidence, working on my business and looking to the bright future that I can create for myself.

Much Purky love

H
xxx

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Returning to my Blog

Its been somthing of a rough year so far.

Purky failed as a business, my relationship ended and my Mother has died.

After my last post, about something so important, I honestly did not know how to follow it.

These things however do not excuse me from active blogging and I apologise profusely to folks who have been waiting for an update.

I have been creative over the last month and taken literally hundreds of photos documenting my life and my work. There are several tutorials which I will get written up and released over this month.

A snap shot of pictures from the last month, just to give you some flavour.

Cute tame starling

My new adventures into indian cuisine

An important Purky project for the family in progress (full tutorial to follow eventually)

My beautiful sister on her wedding day

A gorgeous (late blooming) passion flower

My updated shrine, its a collation of things that are meaningful to me, though the skull candles are just for the ambiance of the thing….

New Purky display equipment and Phil supervising work in the new studio

New tile pendants, cufflinks and stud earrings about to be cured.

The night I met Lady Gaga…

New Revolution Pendants and new stud earrings.

I hope that gives you a flavour of what has been occuring in my life this month. I haven’t included pictures from my Mother’s funeral and other things like that.

I promise to return to regular blogging and my love and best wishes to all of you

Harry xx

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Good bye, Cathy

I feel I should blog about this now, rather than allow the memories chance to fade or tarnish.

I drove to London last night and stayed at my friend Tamara’s mother’s house. Then about 12ish today we headed off to Petersfield to the sustainability centre where the funeral was being held.

It was such a beautiful place with a huge pond full of newts and tadpoles with lots of rushes and aquatic flowers. There were brilliant blue dragonflies zooming around and the atmosphere just oozed hope and vitality.

We both worried about what we were wearing because the dress code was ‘not black’ and paranoid about being scruffy I went with white 3 quarter lengths and a chocolatey brown cotton collarless shirt top thing.

Tamara looked lovely and baby Brian, well he was not too worried about what he was wearing.

I was honoured to push Cathy’s Bier (handcart) and transfer her from Bamfa (not sure of spelling) otherwise known as the ‘beathy bus’ to her final resting place. I can only remember the name of Ness and Mike who were also bearing the cart but it was a curious feeling. A mixture of pride to be assisting and sorrow at her loss mingled with happiness that she was free from pain and being buried in such a gorgeous place. My real feelings of sadness are for Mike, her husband. I hope that I/we as a group of people can support him when he wants and needs it.

Cathy was ensconced in a woven wicker casket and the whole burial was ecologically sustainable. 

http://www.sustainability-centre.org/

The journey from the bus to the plot concluded, some words were said at her grave side. Mike read a lovely poem and Ness gave a heartfelt speech. A few other folks spoke up to express their feelings and the atmosphere in that wood was one of love and sadness.

I helped the other bearers lower Cathy into the ground before we stepped back to allow everyone chance to say goodbye. It was especially sad to see the older generation weep for their lost daughter, burying anyone you love is not easy, particuarly your child. I can only hope it is a sadness that I do not have to bear one day.

Tamara introduced baby Brian to his aunty Cathy before we headed back up to the cafe. There followed a few more words and a really tasty vegetarian buffet. The staff at the centre were so kind natured and helpful.

As sad as it is to say goodbye to someone, especially someone you thought you had a bit more time to get to know, being in such a positive environment made the whole event much easier to bear. I fully appreciate that Mike may not feel that way because I do not think I have ever known a couple so utterly dedicated and in love with one another.

We staged a Beathy reunion photograph, hopefully I will recieve a digital copy so I can paste it up here.

I got home from London after dropping Tamara and baby Brian off at about 11:15pm so having written this, I think it is time to go to bed.

Much love and Purkiness to all.

Sleep well in the woods, Cathy. xxx

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All quiet at Purky Towers?

Hey folks, well I assume folks. Does anyone actually read this blog?

I appreciate that to generate you have to speculate and in this case it is literal mental speculation, littered with images and tidbits of my personality.

The last few weeks have been interesting for me in terms of making plans and understanding myself.

I have got myself into that position of having loads of photographs ready to put through photoshop and then turn into lovely, well structured blog posts. Tutorials, information, random experiments, my adventures into pop jewellery etc.

Just not got it all sorted yet, my sincere apologies.

I checked out my Klout score and my google page value and both are kinda so small as to be irrelevant so that is a dissapointment.

However it is all rectifiable with hard work and other such goodness.

My aim in life is to live conciously and not coast along aimlessly. So using the emotional score moments (Will elaborate on them another time) I have induced motivation! Whoop de whoop!

I hand write a word quota daily, that then translates into a weekly mass typing up session which in turn becomes the first draft of my novel. This will be finished by the end of August which is also when my contract expires at work.

I then spend September redrafting and probably throwing most of it away before producing a rewritten uber draft which I can then allow trusted folks to read 🙂

Then my friend who is  rather famous artist wants to do the cover so I had better make sure it is a bloody good book, no?

anyways going to run off and try and get today’s quota done xxx

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An interim post

I felt an urge to write a post….

My job as a warehouse troll is mundane, intellectually unstimulating and starving me. However it is giving me huge amounts of time to think and muse. Lots of productive things are coming from my ability to think and the self worth that a monthly wage has granted.

I bought myself an mp3 player on ebay for a bargain basement £36.00 with a 30GB hardrive and a colour screen. I only bought cheap rubbish headphones but it has revolutionised my work experiences. Carrying a ‘happy place’ in the form of an auditory environment that separates me from the less desirable collegues and something to share with the friendly ones.

I am happiest (in a non Purky workplace) with a set of tasks to achieve that I can work on independently. I plug into my tunes, do the job, set a  time schedule for the day, get it done. Perhaps I am not as much of a people person as I thought?

Purky has pretty much ground to a halt. That makes me sad but I am putting it into hibernation rather than killing it off. I have lots of ideas and as you guys can probably tell, I am having fun exploring new techniques and doing prototyping.

The portfolio is still happening and also another project that was long buried will be resurging. My degree is a BA (HONS) English and Creative Writing….yeah I am a writer! When I bought the MP3 player I also treated myself to a  160GB external hardrive and have raided every pc and laptop that has any of my data on.

Guess what, my short story collection, collated research, photographs, music and such all emerged. I am so very happy to have it back.

So in addition to a Purky portfolio showcasing my artistic and craftwork I will be collating a book of my short stories. My first thoughts are to grab some friends to illustrate it and publish it via a print on demand surface. I will do a limited number and donate 10% of the profits to a stroke charity.

What do you think folks?