It is a long story but that house is no longer our family home. I retrieved the last of my belongings from there on Friday night and its unlikely I am going to return to it.
I found a box of my old pottery items. When I was little I attended the pottery club at Primary school and made all sorts of things. Most of them were smashed or damaged and I finished the job. Destroying what was left apart from a few choice pieces.
This was not an act of rampant emotion but a calm decision. I do not want to keep damaged, broken, memories of a long faded past.
I am a grown man, with his own creative business and a kiln. My future will have new beautiful ceramic pieces in it. Those broken fragments can be consigned to my memories.
As far as I am concerned that chapter is closed.
2012 will be about the reconstruction and reinforcement of who I am.
Now, I have a small one bed apartment that is rammed with ghosts that must be dealt with. Some beautiful and important things were rescued from that house that have fond memories for me. Others, less so but they can be sorted and sold on Ebay or simply discarded.
My big Sister has been amazing in sorting out the house and taken on the brunt of the work. She is to be commended and proffered lots of hugs. I am going to make her something really pretty.