I do this thing where I dream about being amazingly talented and I could produce the things I see in my head as fully realised sculpture if I just try. I then also read up on the subject and then take time to procure the materials. I find other things to divert me for a while….in this case I have been imagining this project for about four years?
Four years, that sounds about right. Then I make the worst mistake. I have one go and it is terrible and I put it away and hate myself for being talentless for a few months. Then maaaaybe I have another go and of course because I am NOT PRACTISING it is far from perfect.
Quite irrationally, I make beautiful jewellery items and conveniently forget that my earlier attempts look like a child ate loads of sugar and exploded in a play dough factory. I compare my fledgeling sculpture with my advanced jewellery and berate myself for a lack of talent and vision. Actually I have not got the skills because I need to try more often.
I am a lazy arse who demands perfection from himself without putting in the legwork……New years resolution anyone?
So anyway, this was me playing for half an hour and I got fed up and said Hare is sat on my work desk looking sad. I will return to him/her/it and make an effort to achieve the beautiful fluid stylised shape that I have been imagining and sketching for four years.
For now though, I am going to return to my dreamland of instant successes which helps stave off the realisation I have to go back to work tomorow because my crafty self sufficiency drive has failed.